Following each Twins loss, we present you with something lovely, mirthful, or thought-provoking–something entirely unrelated to baseball. Consider the Glorious Nation your local watering-hole. Come here after a loss and drown your sorrows in nut-shots, animals dressed like people, etc.
Sometimes a loss hits so hard, you don’t know how to go on living. Sometimes they burn slowly and deeply in the shadows of the soul. In some cases, there’s only one recourse, and that’s imagining how things could be worse. In that spirit, I present to you, Insane Clown Posse’s video for their song, “Miracles.”
We don’t have to be high to look in the sky
And know that’s a miracle opened wide
Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seas
And everything chilling underwater, please
Hot lava, snow, rain and fog
Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs…The sun and the moon, and even Mars
The Milky Way and f**king shooting stars
UFOs, a river flows
Plant a little seed and nature grows…F**king rainbows after it rains
there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains
I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay
It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away…Water, fire, air and dirt
F**king magnets, how do they work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherf**kers lying, and getting me pissed…
In some alternate universe, the Twins won last night. But, in some other alternate universe, you listen to this shit. Rejoice and be present in this universe.
If you want to witness daily miracles of mirth, you can follow Chip Kincaid on Twitter.
Chip Kincaid
Andrew Henry
Dickbaby
Wow I feel really good and at peace about my life now and about the Twins being the worst team in the universe. I too believe in miracles.
My palate isn’t so much cleansed as coated with wax, kind of like Homer eating the Insanity Pepper at the Chile Cook-Off.
And like Homer, these juggalos have evidently found their soul mate.
Blech, stupid waxy palate.